Tips for Playing with our Kids

When your child says, "Will you play with me?" what's your first reaction? For many of us, it's hard to find the time or energy after a long day. The good news is that your child isn't looking for a perfect playmate but simply looking for you. In the final post of our Play series, we're sharing practical, realistic tips from MecKidz parents to help you make play a meaningful part of your family's everyday life. You may discover that some of your child's favorite memories…and some of yours begin with a simple "yes."

Over the last several weeks in our Play series, we've explored the importance of both independent play and playing together. We've talked about giving children room to be bored, resisting the urge to entertain them every moment, and discovering why one of the greatest ways parents can communicate love is simply by joining in their world.

How do we actually play with our kids?

For many parents, playing with our kids isn’t that easy. We come home exhausted. We have a thousand and one things on our “To Do” list. Some of us are not naturally playful. Or…maybe when your child says “Let’s play kitty!” (their favorite game) which involves you being the sick kitty who has to go to the doctor, it just makes you groan. 

The good news is that your children aren't expecting you to be the funniest, most creative, or most energetic parent in the world. They simply want you to engage them in their interests. What may seem like a chore at first, could be the part of the day you look forward to the most, if you give it a try.

Here are a few simple tips from some of our MecKidz parents who have made PLAY a part of their family life:

Protect Time for Your Child to Play

Before you can regularly play with your child, make sure your child has time to play on their own. It's easy to overschedule children with sports, lessons, and activities, but unstructured play is a vital part of healthy development. Children need space to imagine, create, explore, and simply be kids. Protecting that time also creates more opportunities for you to step into their world.

Make small daily investments in your child’s play. 

Even if you feel busy and that you don’t have much time to give, think about a small 5-10 minute window that you can give your child every day. 

• Commit to 10 minutes a day right before their bedtime. (Rock, Paper, Scissors is a great game to play as you snuggle them before bed. Each time the winner tells something awesome about their day.) 
• Try to play a board game or build a space ship out of LEGO bricks after dinner a few nights each week. 
• Do the most energetic activities on the weekends when you are a little less tired from the workday. Toss a football or grab a basketball and play a game of PIG on Saturday afternoons. 

You don't need hours each day to make a lasting impact. Even ten intentional minutes each day can impact your child greatly.

Try saying “YES” a little more often!

As parents, we say “not now” a lot because we’re busy and we hear, "Will you play with me?" more times than we can count. Many times the answer genuinely has to be "not right now." 

Dinner still needs to be made, and the laundry still needs to get done but every now and then, we need to choose to say "yes”.  Say “yes” to the tea party. Say "yes" to the backyard adventure. Say "yes" to creating the LEGO spaceship. Even a few minutes of wholehearted attention is enough.

Let’s put away the phone!

No distractions please! And one of the most distracting devices is our phones. So let’s not have them when we are playing. 

Nothing interrupts connection like someone who is distracted. We’ve all experienced it! Let’s not do that to our kids. Let 10-15 minutes of play be focused because our kids can tell the difference between a parent who is physically present and one who is emotionally present. What if we communicated to our kids “Nothing is more important than you right now”?

Be a Playmate, Not a Coach

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child during play is simply to enjoy being together. Resist the temptation to turn every game into a teaching moment or every activity into a lesson.

• If you’re playing ball out in the backyard, don’t use it as a time to coach. 
• If you’re coloring together, don’t try to slip in a little talk about what they did wrong in school that day. 

Be just a playmate and have fun!

One final note:

We need to remember that our children won't always ask us to play. Before long, forts become homework, stuffed animals become car keys, and backyard adventures become adult responsibilities of their own. So while we have the opportunity, let's enter their world. Let’s laugh, be silly, build forts and play a game one more time. Let’s say “yes” more often because the dishes can wait. 

Playing with our kids builds relationships, creates memories, and reminds them that they are deeply loved AND liked. And in the process, we may find that God uses these simple moments to refresh our own hearts as well.

 

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