Stay Informed on Your Child's Digital World

How can a parent stay informed of everything happening in a digital world that is constantly changing? You can’t.

Are you overwhelmed with the digital world? 

Pornography, sexting, bullying, harassment, the incel movement, dangerous or occultic YouTube challenges, sexual predators, body shaming, online sexual activity, anxiety induced by social media, screen time, depression, AI, extremist propaganda… The list goes on and on.

How can a parent stay informed of everything happening in a digital world that is constantly changing? You can’t. There is more information than you could ever begin to process. The better question is: How can a parent stay informed of their child’s interactions in the digital world?

You can, and it involves three important things.

1. Accountability Software

Did you know that software exists that will send you direct reports of all activity that happens on a tablet, smartphone or computer? This is different from software that blocks inappropriate sites or activity.  Blocking software is ineffective and gives parents a false sense of security. What parents need instead, is software that monitors and sends reports of internet/smartphone usage. 

MecKidz recommends Covenant Eyes for devices that boys use and Accountable2You for devices that girls use.

Covenant eyes analyzes screenshots and is the best at informing parents about pornographic usage. Accountable2You analyzes all text and is the best at informing parents about inappropriate conversations.

One key note, these softwares do not work effectively on iPhones. No accountability software does. The free on-demand class, “Facetime: What Parents Need to Know About Technology, Social Media, Video Games and More”, goes into more detail about why iPhones are not able to be monitored.

2. Build a culture of communication in your home.

The best way to be informed about the issues your child is going through, is for them to talk with you about it. But, no kid will willingly talk about it with you. 

You have to initiate it. You have to intentionally create space to talk. And we have identified 5 conversation times all parents should take advantage of.

• Dinner Time: daily time where you slow down, and have extended family conversation. Rarely will you breach deep topics. But it builds a foundation for conversation in your family. Pro-tip, no screens during dinner.

• Drive Time: parents joke that they become a chauffeur, ferrying their kids from one extracurricular to the next. Use that time! You have huge amounts of time with a captive audience. Literally captive. No music. No phones. No movies. Just… conversation.

• Room Time: visit your kid in their room, on their turf, in their time. Just to hang out! “Listen to music with them, play video games together, scroll tik tok with them. Enter their world WITH them.

• “Date” Time: Create a time where you go out and discuss something intentional that you need to talk about with them. You plan it, craft it, and design it. Go golfing, get dinner just with them, hit up a starbucks, go hiking somewhere. Pick a place and a time where you will be alone and guards will be down. 

• Away Time: Periodically, get your kids away with you for a longer extended time. Camping, a weekend getaway to a nearby city, have them join on a work trip. The goal of this time is to build extended time together and create a comfort being together.

Every family dynamic looks different, and we get that! This list isn’t meant to be exhaustive, but we highly encourage you to explore building these five times into your family in a way that works for you.

3. What do you talk about? 

Use questions that cannot be answered with one word. 

Don’t ask: How was your day?

Ask: What are three things that happened to you today?

Always follow up to encourage more conversation.

Ask: “How did that make you feel?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”

Ask “Worm Can Questions”

These are questions that dig into the deepest and most pivotal conversations you can have with your kids. Here is a list that was developed for middle and high school parents, but you could easily use some for younger kids too. 

One key parenting truth is you have to initiate conversation with your kids. But initiating a conversation is not a one and done thing; you have to be relentless. Remember, the first time you ask, you will get nothing from your child. But the 10th time? Maybe?

Keep at it! And build a culture of communication in your home that keeps you informed of your kids' world. Their whole world. 

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MecKidz