Finding the Balance Between Independent Play and Playing Together

Some of the best memories of childhood are built around play! It could be blanket forts in the living room, backyard adventures, board games with yummy treats and laughter (okay…let’s be real…and sometimes tears), and even MecKidz events, like Family Night - where we play together as a family!

Play matters deeply not just because it’s fun, but because God designed children to grow through it. 

In our modern world, through all the scheduling and striving, play can be forgotten and pushed aside. Parents often feel the pressure to maximize every moment. We want our kids learning, achieving, behaving, growing spiritually, and staying busy with “productive” things and we forget to schedule time for unstructured play.

Yet for children, play is not wasted time. It is one of the ways they learn confidence and creativity. They learn how to connect with others and the world around them. And, they can decompress from the pressures of scheduled time. 

The tension and challenge that we have as parents is the balance between “do I play with my kids?” or “do I let them play on their own?”

On the one hand, kids need the freedom to play on their own. They need independent play without adults directing it. But they also need parents who are willing to step into their world and play alongside them.

How many times a day do we hear from our kids “Will you come play with me?” And immediately two thoughts come into your mind:

• “I need to spend more quality time with my kids.”
• “But I also think they need to learn how to play independently.”

Welcome to one of the constant tensions of parenting.

Christian parents especially can feel pulled in both directions. We want to be intentional and present in our kid’s lives. Every episode of Bluey where Bandit and Chilli laugh and play with their children challenges us to follow their example and enter the world of our children, actively playing with them. We don’t want to miss those precious moments with our children. 

But we also read studies that show the importance of independent play. Like this Harvard study, that shows that kids need independence, creativity, and the ability to function without adults entertaining them every second.

So which is it?

Should we play with our kids more?
Or should we step back and let them learn to play on their own?

The answer is…both.

Jesus welcomed children and kids were drawn to Him. But Jesus also regularly stepped away for solitude and rest and to accomplish what His purpose on this earth was as well. Healthy relationships should include being together and also having our personal time and space.

Children will thrive better when they experience both: “My parents love being with me” and “I am capable on my own.”

So, how do we accomplish that as parents? Over the next few blogs, let’s explore the world of play when it comes to our children and how to keep balance of together play and independent play. Stay tuned in!

 

Categories

Written By