Bullying (Part 2): What do I do if my child is being bullied?

In part 1, we laid out what bullying is and discussed how to know if your child is being bullied. In part 2, we explore what steps you can take if you find out your child is being bullied.

First, understand the situation. 

To find the best solution, you first have to take time to understand what your child is experiencing. Not all bullying looks the same, and identifying the type of bullying they are experiencing can help guide your response.

Ask questions like:

• Is someone physically bullying you? Are they using their words to hurt you or trying to turn other friends and classmates against you? Are they doing things online through video games or texting?
• Do you know the bully? Is it someone you’ve met in person and know really well? Or do you not really know them?
• Are there patterns? Certain times, places, or situations where it happens?

Getting a clear picture helps you respond wisely instead of reacting emotionally.

Remind them who they are in Christ. 

Bullying often attacks a child’s identity. Speak truth over them: they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), deeply loved, and created with purpose. Help them see that what others say does not define them. God does!

Determine who their allies are.

Your child should never feel like they’re facing this alone. Help them recognize the people in their corner.

Talk through questions like:

• Who can you sit with or play with?
• Which friends make you feel safe?
• Which adults can you go to right away?

Allies might include siblings, friends, teachers, their small group leaders in MecKidz, coaches, or trusted adults. Building that support system is a powerful first step in restoring your child’s confidence.

Create a plan together.

Once you understand the situation and know who their support is, work with your child to create a plan. This gives them both direction and confidence.

Some practical ideas include:

• As a parent, you might say, “I’m going to talk to their parents and your teacher so they understand what’s happening.” Then guide your child with clear steps: “You can stay close to your best friend and play away from them.” If the bullying behavior continues, remind them to let their teacher know. And reassure them of your support: “If it keeps happening, come tell me and I will keep talking to the adults until it’s handled.”
• For cyberbullying, keep it simple, direct and empowering: “Let’s block that person so they can’t bother you anymore.”
• When it comes to name-calling, help your child learn to ignore them. Bullies are looking for a reaction. 
• For rumors, shift the focus: “You can’t control what everyone thinks, but you can make sure your real friends know the truth.” Encourage them to stay close to the friends who are safe. 
• If the situation involves a close friend, you might say, “A real friend shouldn’t treat you that way. It’s okay to step back and find new friends.” Sometimes finding new friends is tricky. They may need your help to find healthier friendships. 

Every situation is different so get creative and adjust as needed. But the bottom line is to create a plan that is comfortable for you and your child. 

Remind them what is true. 

• Not everyone is going to like us and that’s okay! This can be a hard but important lesson. Help your child focus on the people who love and support them rather than trying to win over those who don’t.
• It’s okay to avoid harmful situations. If certain places, groups or apps consistently lead to hurt, it’s okay to step away. Encourage your child to pursue environments where they feel safe and valued. 
• Don’t retaliate. Retaliation often escalates the problem. Teach your child that while it’s natural to want to “get back,” choosing self-control is strength. Romans 12:21 reminds us: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” If they are ever physically threatened, getting to safety and seeking help should always be the first priority. 
• Adults are here to help! Remind your child often: “Asking for help is not tattling! It’s the wise thing to do!” They should feel comfortable and confident coming to you or another trusted adult at any time!
• Involve other parents when needed. Sometimes parents simply don’t know what their child is doing.
  • When approaching them:
  • Be calm and specific about what happened. 
  • Assume the best about their child.
  • Focus on resolution, not blame. 
  • Remember a loving, gentle approach often opens the doors for real change. 
• Pray for those who hurt you! This might be the hardest step but it’s also the most powerful. Jesus calls us to pray for those who hurt us. When your child prays for their bully, it softens their heart, builds empathy and invites God into the situation. In our last blog post, “Bullying (Part 1),” we suggested a sample prayer. You can read it here.

Walking through bullying is not easy for you or your child. But with guidance, support, and truth, it can become a moment of growth, resilience, and deeper faith. Stay involved. Keep the conversation open. And remind your child often:

They are not alone, they are deeply loved, and with God’s help, they are stronger than they think!

 

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