The Rise of Mom Guilt in the Age of Social Media

Is social media coloring your vision for motherhood? There’s an exact science behind why we scroll and scroll and scroll, only to feel worse after. This week’s blog post dives into how you can recapture what you fill your heart with, and how it flows into your life.

Have you ever scrolled through instagram and felt a little guilty after seeing content from some of your favorite “momfluencers” (social media mom influencers)? You see pictures of their perfect house, picture-perfect meals and children who always look freshly bathed and think to yourself:  “Gosh her house is so clean! Should mine be cleaner? ” or “Her kids look so angelic and well behaved in all of her videos! Am I doing something wrong?”

You are not alone!

Comparing yourself can often feel inevitable and that’s because it is. Psychologist Leon Festinger (1954) proposed the social comparison theory, which claims that humans have a basic need to evaluate themselves by comparing with others. When we compare ourselves to those who are more successful or seemingly “better”, it can lead to feeling inferior, which can lead to experiencing a decrease in self-esteem.

It’s easy to criticize yourself after spending time on social media because social media offers a romanticized, highly-curated view of motherhood - not the reality. When we fill our time with too much curated content, it begins to shape how we see ourselves and our families. 

The Bible says, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 

What we fill our hearts with flows into how we live our lives. So, instead of letting an algorithm curate our influences and cause insecurity, we can go to God’s Word for His encouragement and love and let that seep into our identity and family life.    

How to combat the comparison game

1. Be intentional about the time you spend on social media. You cannot help the comparison, so limit the time you spend on it. A good rule of thumb is setting limits on your phone for 15 min max. Yeah, it’s possible! Try it!  
2. Be a voice of encouragement. Reach out to a mom in your circle and say something encouraging.  Resist any urge to join a comparison game and instead look for something you can praise and encourage.
3. Fill your heart with God’s presence. Pray, worship, journal. God cares for you and your little ones much more than you can imagine! So talk to Him about the things that are on your heart. Spending time in his presence prepares your heart and allows God’s goodness to overflow into parenting. 

You don’t have to live under the pressure of perfection. You are not called to be “that mom on Instagram”. You are called to be your child’s mom, just as God designed. 

 

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Sources: 

Festinger, Leon. "A Theory of Social Comparison Processes." Human Relations, vol. 7, no. 2, 1954, pp. 117–140. SAGE Publications, https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202.

Knobloch-Westerwick, Silvia, and Caterina Graupmann. "Gender Differences in Selective Exposure: The Impact of Gender Identity on Attitude-Consistent and Counterattitudinal News Consumption." Communication Research, vol. 43, no. 4, 2016, pp. 438–463. SAGE Publications, https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650214534969.

Wang, Yiran, et al. "The Impact of Social Media on Social Comparison and Envy: A Meta-Analysis." Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 139, 2023, 107524. Elsevier, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2022.107524

 

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