You Don’t Have to Fix Everything at Once

Disciplining and correcting our children can seem never-ending at times. From messy rooms and forgotten shoes to sibling conflicts and unkind words, there always seems to be something that needs correcting! Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, learn how to choose one area, celebrate progress, and stay consistent as a way of helping you shepherd your child one step at a time.

Whether we're talking about parenting, house cleaning or occupational performance, it can be easy to look at everything that we want to improve and feel like we have a list a mile long with no clue where to start. As parents, we want to shepherd and guide our kids to be responsible, godly people, and part of that is pinpointing areas where we want to help them grow.

You may be thinking:
"I need my child to share with their brother, put their shoes on the shelf instead of throwing them on the floor, use kind words to their sibling, take their dishes to the sink after mealtime, not leave legos in the middle of the hallway where I always step on them, and about 14 more things that I can't think of right now." 

It's easy to feel lost and not know where to start!

When the list feels a mile long, it can be tempting to correct everything at once. But a focused approach to discipline can help both you and your child know what you’re working toward.

1. Find your Focus 

Instead of trying to "fix" everything about your child all at once, try choosing one area to focus on for a season. 

Maybe your child struggles with what happens when they get home from school. Instead of correcting the backpack on the floor, shoes in the hallway and lunchbox left in the car separately, focus on creating a consistent after-school routine. 

If we focus heavily on one particular area, your child has a clearer understanding of what you are asking them to do and you have a clearer way to recognize their progress. 

This doesn’t mean you ignore other areas that need correcting. It simply means you don’t have to “tackle” everything at once.   

2. Positive Reinforcement 

Discipline is necessary when parenting, but so is positive reinforcement! Encouragement is an important part of helping our kids grow too!

Once you determine the area that you want to help your child develop this week, give them positive reinforcement every chance you get. Verbal praise, a high five, reward charts, stickers, getting to stay up late, earning special privileges, etc. The reinforcement will look different based on your child's age and preferences. Think about what will motivate your child (or ask them!), and use that to help encourage their progress. 

Don’t underestimate the power of a parent’s genuine words of affirmation. Our kids need to know that we notice their progress and not just their mistakes. 

3. Create a Game Plan

Parents need to be on the same page about what you are working on with your kids. Consider having a quick weekly check-in where you can align what you need to focus on with each child. 

"This week we need to focus on Rachel keeping her room tidy, Ben sharing his toys, and Sarah using kind words."  

When parents agree on the focus, it becomes easier to be consistent. Both parents know what to correct and where to celebrate progress.

And if you are parenting on your own, invite another trusted adult into the conversation to help you stay consistent. 

Discipline can feel overwhelming when we think of everything our children need to learn. But remember that it does not have to happen all at once, Our job is to faithfully shepherd them, one step at a time. 

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This kind of shepherding takes patience, consistency and a whole lot of grace not only for our kids but for ourselves also. 

Choose one area and focus on it. Encourage your child. Get on the same page with your spouse and then take the next step when you are ready. 

 

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