Helping kids through school anxiety

Did you know that 1 in 5 children struggle with anxiety? With that statistic in mind, how can we, as parents, help prepare our kids for a back to school season that brings all kinds of new pressures to the surface?

As back to school gets closer, we often see our children’s anxiety and nerves rising, sometimes quickly and noticeably. 

Sissy Goff and David Thomas are trusted Christian counselors and experts in children's emotional health. They offer practical, God-centered advice that parents can apply every day, especially back-to-school season. Their newest book, Capable (available in the Grounds), is packed with wisdom on how to navigate seasons with an anxious child. 

Here are some of our biggest take aways:

1. Build “psychological immune system” skills just like physical ones. 
   Just as we build our child’s physical immune system by gradually introducing them to germs, we also need to practice building our child’s psychological immune system by introducing them to new situations and challenges. The new school year is a great time to practice building their coping skills and competence.
   
   
2. Feelings are data, not directives. 
   Your child’s feelings give us an insight into what's going on, but it does not direct us on how we navigate the struggle. For example, just because something is hard or awkward for the child, doesn’t mean we allow them to quit or avoid it. An important quote from the book simply states, “You can either be in charge of your feelings, or your feelings can be in charge of you.”
   
   
3. Nervous is normal. 
   To work through their fear of the new school year, our kids have to face scary things and not avoid it. Make this a family mantra and say it over and over before they head off to school that first week, “Nervous is normal!”
   
   
4. Add the “T.R.Y” method into your parenting routine.
   
   T - Try before they are ready: What’s something they can try on their own before they feel fully ready?
   R - Reflect instead of Rescue: Reflect on what they tried, and maybe failed at, instead of rescuing them from it.
   Y - “Yet” thinking: Train your child to end their sentences with the word “yet.” For example, “I can’t do that…yet.” “I haven’t tried that…yet.”
   
   
5. Read this Scripture and “shake off the dust.”: 
   Read and talk about Matthew 10:11-14. Jesus talks about “shaking off the dust” as you leave a house or town that doesn’t receive you or listen to you. Read this scripture as a family and train your child to “shake off the dust,” of challenges and circumstances that don’t go their way to continue on in their walk with Christ. 

The goal isn’t to raise children who never feel anxious, nervous, disappointed or afraid. Our job as parents is to help our kids learn that they can feel those things and still move forward with courage, confidence and faith. 

And while they will face hard situations, they don’t have to face anything alone. 

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MecKidz