Cultivating Boredom

Research suggests that boredom can be good for your child. It can spark creativity, build problem-solving skills, increase confidence, and help children become more independent. Even more importantly, learning to sit with quiet and unstructured time can help cultivate hearts that are better able to listen, reflect, and notice God at work in everyday life.

If you’ve been following along in our Play series, you know we’ve been making a surprising argument: boredom is not the enemy.

In fact, boredom may be one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

Last week, we talked about how children will eventually face boredom and they will find a way to fill it. Research suggests that when children are given the opportunity to work through boredom, amazing things happen.

Nancy Darling, Ph.D in her article “Are Bored Kids Happier” notes that boredom allows children to process past experiences, learn from their environment, and develop important skills that contribute to emotional well-being. Other research suggests that boredom can increase self-esteem, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. When children learn to entertain themselves, they begin discovering who they are, what they enjoy, and what they are capable of creating.

And here's some good news for parents: you are not responsible for entertaining your children every moment of the day.

In fact, constantly rescuing children from boredom may actually keep them from developing the creativity, resilience, and independence they need. 

We live in a world that constantly fills every quiet moment with noise, entertainment, and distraction. Yet throughout Scripture, God often works in the quiet places. He speaks in stillness, teaches patience in waiting, and develops character during seasons when nothing exciting seems to be happening. While we shouldn't expect every bored moment to become a spiritual experience, teaching our children to be comfortable with quiet and unstructured time helps cultivate hearts that can listen, reflect, and notice God's presence in everyday life.

So how can you intentionally cultivate healthy boredom in your home?

1. Schedule unstructured time. Have time without any planned activities. Time where kids are not playing with you, or anything organized or entertaining. (Meaning no screens!) 
2. Have the right environment. Ensure that your kids have access to things that could “Bust their boredom.” But, avoid anything elaborate or overly structured. You can have certain items easily accessible, for example mismatched art supplies or building materials to steer them in the right direction. If you have access to a yard or a nature park, USE IT! Nature is full of possibilities for a bored child.
3. Be ready to tolerate frustration. Most kids DO NOT WANT to bust their own boredom. They want you to provide an activity for them, not realizing that creative play is better for them in the long run. If they complain about being bored, respond with “I am so glad! That means your brain wants to be active! I cannot wait to see what you end up coming up with.” 
4. Keep conversations short and sweet. If you find that you are arguing with your child about boredom or giving idea after idea that they refuse, it isn’t because they NEED your help— it’s because they WANT your attention. The longer you talk with them, the more your child can avoid dealing with their boredom. Say it once, then respond with “Its good to be bored! I can’t wait to see what your brain comes up with.” Repeat that enough times, and they will (eventually) leave you alone. You could also offer them the opportunity to help you with chores. Amazing things can happen to a child's creativity when the alternative is folding laundry!
5. Let them make a mess. Within reason, of course! Let them dig a hole (obviously in a place that you are okay with), raid the recycling bin and cut up stuff, build the fort or rearrange their room. You can and should get them to help clean up afterward, but it's worth it for their brain development.
6. Praise them. When they are done playing, let them show you what they did! And congratulate them on it! God created us in His image, and one of the ways we reflect Him is through creativity. When children build, invent, draw, imagine, and create, they are exercising a gift that comes from their Creator. Make sure they know their imagination is something that is of value! 

So the next time your child complains about being bored, don't panic.

Don't try to fix it and don't immediately hand them a screen or schedule another activity. Instead, consider boredom an opportunity for your child to discover, create, problem-solve, and grow.

Who knows? On the other side of "I'm bored" may be a fort, a masterpiece, a new passion, or simply a child learning that they are capable of more than they realized.

 

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